selendang...

huh, semalam menyahut cabaran utk pakai selendang,
penat gak lilit2 tp x jadi pun,...
heh, :(

nampak gila kebulatan pipi bila pakai selendang...
few pics, camwhoring, slps try selendang...

biarlaaa pipi gemoks pun...
x kisah pun..

kehkehkeh... whateverlaaa, bila camwhore je mesti nak senyum.. automatik.. :P..

btw, selamat berpuasa..mama ckp saya x ada gigi.. :D funny...

rindu mereka!!

tadi baru call mama.. dia sihat alhamdulillah,..
rindu nyaa!!!

tiap2 malam, golek2 atas katil teringat family kat rumah,..
nak balik masaklaaa, beli baju raya laa..
hihihihihihi... seronok...

nak jumpa iqbal DEMOK...
nak jumpa wani MONSTER...
nak jumpa aida EMO..
nak jumpa kak watip GARANG..
nak jumpa kak lina ....... ( x tau nak isi apa)
nak jumpa mama SAYANG.
nak jumpa abah COOL...

hihi... okeylaa..

rasanya tu saja,... x habis2..
teringat kat jaygeeEll... :)

4 more to go...

4 more papers to go, practicals...
tp mood sekarang nak balik cepat2 saja...
semalam dah buat movie marathon... :D ( tah apa2)

mcm2 laaa..

sekarang pun masih x stop lagi nak berfoya foya..
*sigh*... nak kumpul mood utk blajar practical...
nak buat mana dulu??
biochemistry or physiology?
anatomy? dental anatomy and histology??

byknyaaaa... tp x apa.. teruskan jugak...
ternmpk gmbr program JBJ kat fb...
rindu kat jenan tp kalau ada kat malaysia pun, malas nak pegi...
segan... malas nak jawab banyak2 soalan drpd junior..
tp rindu nak jumpa cikgu2 kat sana...

bgn pagi nak mandi, tgk muka kat cermin....
baru semalam kena puji muka licin, pagi nih dah ada jerawat mini yg timbul... :( ceh.. pantang je....

MOOD : paramore.... :)

air panas

waahhh, dah kira cm nak marah sgt nih, bila nak mandi air panas x ada.... direct cmtu.. marah gilaaaa!!!!!!!!

x guna punya tempe, dahlaa bayar duit facilities mahal2 tp ntah apa2... bukan setakat air panas, air pun kadang2 x ada. dahlaa sekrg musim hujan , sejuk laaaa!.. @$#%#$^%$&...last time terpaksa mandi air sejuk, menggigil, tergigit pipi smpai berdarah darah,luka, sakit tu ambil masa bbrapa hari nak heal, lagi sekali $%#^&^&*,...dahlaa saya x pernah marah....aishhhh...
 x suka laa cmni...
i am soooo MAD this time ...
stupid..!!!! selalu cmni, org da schedule masa baik2. time ni nak mandi time ni nak belajar,,.. sekian2..
hadoi, kalau ikutkan hati.. habis roboh semua hostel ni...

rindu greenwood dulu, nak mandi air panas pun x ada masalah..

sobs...

TEMPE

memang

macam

...............

sila penuhkan tempat kosong di atas...

just a dream..

huh, last night tidur yg best...
x sedar apa pun dah pg.. :D

but teringat psl mimpi,
me wearing a white silver gown, pgg kasut, rambut kusut masai, jalan kaki ayam..hahha..
and i hear some one cakap, jgn bg dia lari,...and then i ran away..
hahahahaha.. tah apa2....lawak jugak rasa mcm terlepas dari wad sakit gila pun ada gak.. hurmmm.. (thinking)

esok ada paper physiology, wish me luck... doakan saya.. :D



like the above picture but with no smile.....
i think maybe i am actually running away from these exams... *sigh*

1 down 3 more to go

well, after the first paper, anatomy,.. I FELT SO RELIEVED....
yet i am grateful to Allah swt, i can answer the question , and as usual , lots of  INCOMPLETE answer, but anyway, i really hope i pass,...

right now, i am spending my time in front of the laptop, looking for some songs... tired of reading blogs about the celebrity, politics in my country,.. blah blah bla........the newspaper in malaysia, i did not believe them anymore, its full of lies and crap...

so, i found something which in my opinion is cool and i like it,..well if you doesn't like it, it's okay with me,..
the soundtrack of the movie,which are made by HANS ZIMMER, is truly amazing,
he is so genius and creative... Have you ever watch Gladiator, Inception, The dark Knight and The Pirates of Carribean??(rasanya, semua dah tgk kan? kan?) well, the soundtrack of the films above are made by him...

i would say that his soundtrack that makes the movies superbly awesome,
and of course,without the sound effects, any movies will become lame and boring right?,...

here is the soundtrack of the inception.....
warning : if you don't like orchestra, don't listen to the soundtrack....  :P

tetiba rasa lenguh kaki bila sejuk2 nih.. x best langsung,... :(
dont feel like studying tonight, just want to have a good night sleep...

could not wait to go back home!! so homesick... :(

my heart goes. and..(no pulse)....I AM DEAD...

the things that makes me feel like that = UNIVERSITY EXAMS is really coming,..i really have a lot ...to study,...kayuh pelan sangat dulu.. sobs.. but anyway.. mmg rasa nervous yg ter ammaaattt sgt..

okay here is the situation,..

my IA marks.. 

anatomy = 20 means that i have to work for the 30 marks more to pass

physiology = 24 , 26 more to go

biochemistry = 23, 27 more to go

dental anatomy and dental histology = 22, 28 marks more to go..

i already freak out, really want to pass, if not, i'm not allowed to go back to Malaysia this raya, 

so, of course i don't want this kind of thing to happen...

my place, serabut, pensel H&E pun dah jadi pendek......

being an outcast

did you ever experienced this kind of real life situations? where you are so desperately trying to get a friend and trying so hard to be accepted by a group of people around you.. well i have, and now i realized how stupid i was that time...

being an outcast, it sucks, where people does not recognized you and felt weird if you said Hi' to them once...
well it happens to me when i was in secondary schools and in college, where i was surrounded with those people who think themselves are needed by others and people can die or not survived if they are not there...

okay, let me explain,
during college, i always wanted to make friends and try to socialize with others, i want to be like that... to be like them, 'them ' who are being like the 'hottie' of the college, where when you said Hi to a total strangers, and they will say Hi back to you, sound a little bit cliche'  actually, but, the point is, i am NOT like them...

so, it happens for 2 years in KMS, then i realized that i was just being a moron all the time, because of the chase to be a well know girl in college..after that, i promise to myself not to chase all of those stupid thingy and get a fresh start in university....

BUT, now, those feeling come back to me, ... i felt so intimidated when i started to be friends with a girl named AA..
she is so cool, got so many friends and everybody loves her, a contradiction of myself..well of course, she is one damn pretty girl...okay,even JGL said that she is sweet girl.. :( :( :( :( :(

and AA is a good friend of NN, which is a well known girl also, one day in library, they accidentally bump into each other in the discussion room, i was there too at that table, studying with AA..
then they started to talk about boys..blah blah...

NN : last time i went out for a dinner with our senior... SS
AA : oh ye..

then the conversation is going on and on and on.. and HELLOOO, did anybody sees me studying here...??
well, it seems like both of them are so pre occupied with their conversation...

i felt so sad.. and promised myself not come to library anymore..

the truth is...  i will  never be recognized or being realized for my existence, people find me only when they need me, remember about the house where we want to live for next year, i ve been kicked out, because they want that house and that house is small, 1 must go out, so, that unlucky person is me...seriously, i felt like ....

i don't know what to say,.. it feels really bad when you does not have anything at all to make people impressed...and people think you are a loser at all time..

yeah, its true,, to felt like shitty when being an outcast,.. :(

feeling so DOWN......

hope and faith....

some times i wonder, am i in the right path? or i still going on and on and on commited sins, without realising it...

make me strong my Lord... :), to get through these situations...

tense...

exam is coming, there so many things that i need to study...
honestly, i would prefer to study in purpose of i want to know, and not because of exams...
i am not good with memorizing facts, but i am really good memorizing diagrams....

it is true, i am good with teeth.. its anatomy, but i am not good in anatomy of the head and neck... it sucks...

duh... i love to be enlighten... not to be force to memorize things without functions or purpose...

here is the thing, is it wrong if i don't know a lot about anatomy ?,
well in my opinion, it doesn't mean that  if you cannot answer your friend's question , u are a loser...
those things are already in your head, you just need to organize them and adjust them in your brain properly...
use keywords, everything you learn are mostly connected to each other...once u know them... you can answer those question in anatomy....

BUT HOW??

draw a complete diagram of head and neck.. or  just take a look of them in atlas of anatomy , if you memorize almost everything in words, of course.. you will tend to forget it..so, take a look on the diagram, the structure, the connections, the place... anything..... that is included in those diagram...

try to apply it, i mean... relate them with each other...

then u will remember...

i know u can do it , Afifah, u are born with intelligence... u are smart.. u can learn in smart way... u don't have to imitate the way your friends study.. they memorize almost all of them,.. there is no use in memorizing only, if you don't know the exact function and location of the structure and make Netter's as your best friend from now on....

but,what if the time is not enough? , i only have a week...to be frank, i already freak out..

don't worry, just try your best... pray to Allah swt always for its guidance and peacefulness...

don't lose hope on yourself.. Allah swt are always with you...you are smart , remember that!.. you can do anything better than everyone else... and don't ever  try to look down to yourself.. be confident, remember that night? when you called abah for help? abah said just be confident and answer all of those question confidently ( belasah je )... look on you fourth block result, it is better than those who try to memorize the facts word by word...

thanks.. insya Allah, i will try my best... :)

p/s : these are the 'suara hati' that speaks to me when i am down... yezza AFIFAH, you can do it..GO FOR IT!!

sakit gigi

penangan dr santosh semalam, smpai hari ni, ketatkan besi braces, sampai x leh tido semalam, rasa macam nak cabut semua gigi and pakai dentures saja..

sakit.....slow pain, create alertness..

slow pain is from the C fibers and goes via the spinoreticular tract, it synapes in lamella I and II, and relay at the thalamus and finally to the cortex...

since it is reticular, so it really create alertness, that is why when we have stomach ache,or toothache, we can't sleep at all during the night..

it is just the SLOW PAIN.... this is sooo not good, iam sooo NERD...!!

different from the fast pain, it will dissappear within  few minutes... but slow pain lasts longer than that...

i am hungry... i want some porridge.. but it does not exist here!!. :(

saya comel atau cute?

erm, post nih bukannya nak memuji or angkat bakul sendiri, tapi luahan perasaan je...
sejak2 tukar facebook profile pic ngan gmbr biskut marie nih, asyik kena puji comel laa apelaa....
JGL pun cakap cute.... (hehe, suka sbnrnya)

adoyai, saya ni sbnrnya pemalu or shy2 cat sikit orangnya, so, kalau kena puji, kembang laa lepas tu.. hehe...
now it makes me feels floating in the air for a while.. :P...

ramai gak org tegur...
kuku saya gi manicure? memang x laa... keluar bilik pun malas,... x caya pi tanya JGL...

erm, apa2 pun terima kasih sebab puji, biskut marie penyelamat gmbr, kalau x, nmpaklaa mata sembap kat belakang tu...

:D... LOL..
p/s = terasa debaran nak gi jumpa Dr Santosh, abeslaa kena marah ngan dia hari ni...

dentist..

semalam pergi antar mesej kat kak iwanie, tnya dia pasal life as a dentist,...

erm, dia jawab pun macam warm je, (hehe, saya sgt suka kat dia),
dia cakap lebih kurang cmni,...

alhamdulillah. best  sy suka. working hour 8-5pm. but sometime if ada jadual on call.then kena standby kat rumah.. but jarang juga ada on call, in case kalau dpt case yg berkaitan head n neck baru diorg kol sy keja kat hospital kuala kangsar. gaji boleh tahan. basic dlm rm 2300 include dgn elaun +++ total dlm rm3400 setelah tolak kwsp... kalau nak smbung specialist slalu nya second year dah boleh amik..but kena amik few examinations  n depends on awak nak amik course ape 
owh ye ke? welcome to the family  dentistry sgt best  enjoy the learning  sometime leaning might be challenging, no worries, lg byk belaja lg seronok nak buat .



waaa, kerja cam best je kan, tapi time on call tu laa yg x berapa nak seronok.... tp xapa.. harhar...

gaji pun boleh tahan jugak sebenarnya, alaa cukuplaa utk cm saya nih,... x kaya pun x pe, cara kak iwanie ckp cm best je... x apa, pembakar semangat!!..

cayalaaa kak iwanie dahlaa cantik,.. kalau saya jadi patient, mesti slalu nak pergi hospital... :D

mood... oldies... :D

reminds me of the times in car, when abah loves to sing those oldies song... :)
this is one of it,...

study.... ZzzzZZZzZzZZzzz

feel so sleepy when i study, is it because of the subject or is it just myself  being such a sleepyhead all the time???

the ink already decreasing to the hazardous line, which means i really have to go out tomorrow to buy some pens and paper!!... isk isk.... feel so.....(MALAS)......

and tomorrow the subject is anatomy ( I AM A DEAD MEAT!!!).. the most least 'like' subject....ughhh...

erm, i don't know where my JGL has disappear just now...i don't know where he go..
okay , forget about him,.

i revised physiology block 1 = kind of boring.
but i found an interesting stuff about muscle, RIGOR MORTIS...Ooouuuu!! ( sound scary rite?) :P

okay not everyone know about rigor mortis but,.. let me explain,

rigor mortis is a stiffness of skeletal muscle due to the lack of ATP,(ATP = sort of energy producing molecule)
when ATP is not there, there will be no detachment of myosin head from the actin binding site,...
so, the muscle become stiff,
hence ATP is always produced by our body, so, us who are still alive does not need to worry about that,...
rigor mortis occur to a person who is dead....
it begins several hours after death,..and it is complete after 12 hours,..
well, rigor mortis also being used as to indicate the time of death..

in CSI, forensics always check and said, he died about 3/ 4 hours ago, bla bla bla...
hahahaha, it's cool right,
hmm to the people who do not think it is coooool...you can call me NERD.

hahahaha.. ...

okay bye2.. see you MMMMUUUAAHHHXXX... XOXO..

ugh...

my friends always said to me, pah, you look handsome instead of beautiful, ...

my first reaction, oh ? then , WHAT? 

and fyi my thyroid angle is quite obvious( maybe because i am too skinny :P) ... now i am started to believe that i am a boy..a weirdo..

but i am a girl...

and when your friends said that you not attractive, as a girl i feel sad of myself.. 

but, they who claims that i am not attractive are not that DROP DEAD GORGEOUS..so..

hahahaaAHHAHA.. 

btw, as the saying goes,

kita mungkin tidak cantik di mata manusia tetapi cantik di sisi Allah SWT, 

 that is more important right?.. :)